I imagine most of you thought I had given up on blogging...No, I just felt empty of words to write about anything. So much was going on in, and around me, that I couldn't sort it all out on what to write, so I am jumping back in today and letting God sort it all out, as I start to write on my blog again.
For months and months I felt this dark cloud over my head. I don't know why. I couldn't hear God. I know that He never leaves us, but I couldn't feel His presence or hear His voice. I was in the Word, going to church, having fellowship...yet, this overwhelming sense of sadness just seemed to over take me at times. I know that living with chronic illnesses can do that at times. I have lived with these chronic illnesses for 18 years and every day it is a challenge to do what is before me. I know some of you know what I am talking about. Each day God gave me what it was I had need of. I may not have accomplished my agenda for the day, but I did get up each day and took care of the needs of my husband.
It didn't help at all to record breaking heat for weeks and weeks..it seemed like the hottest summer that I can remember. I am so thankful for air conditioning...but I did start to feel really closed in as the days went by. At the same time, there were the fires that were burning out of control and it always leaves you with a sense of where will it be next.
I have been to the doctor for the weirdest things the last four months..and a dentist appointment that went bad and found myself sitting in the chair for eight hours...not good for a fibromyalgia body. It took days to recover.
We have had extended family drama, the kind that cuts to your very heart. It's not behind us yet, maybe it never will be. The enemy would like nothing better. The enemy must be laughing his head off thinking, "This is a Christian Family." Some of us are walking with integrity.. some are playing right into his hands and are not. So sad. This has taken a toll on my physical health, stress usually does.
Well, I gave you the tip of the iceberg of the happenings around me...there is so much more...but today is a new day and it feels good just to be able to come here and say hello and share my heart.
I love the picture of this leaf at the top of this post...it reminds me that we are to stand out in a world of grey.
Today is a new day! Thank you to all of you who left me comments and sent emails inquiring about me. It encouraged me so much. There can be joy in the journey, because God is so faithful!
4 comments:
Patty,
It was so good to read this post! After I saw my comment on "I am alive" had been published, I headed right over here to see what was new.
I can relate, oh so well, as you know, to the extended family drama. No, not the same family as you -- we are on different coasts, after all -- but the same sort of drama. I will definitely pray for you in that area. I pray regularly for your health and strength, but had not thought to pray for family matters. Now I will!
Thank you for sharing your heart. I liked your thought about the colorful leaf standing out among the gray ones.
Love in Him,
Mrs.T
You are such a good friend, Mrs.T
Love and prayers,
Patty
My prayers go out to you and your family. Isn't it just wonderful to know that we have faithful God, even through the trying times? God bless you.
My prayers go out to you as you deal with a family drama. We are doing the same for the past 5 weeks and it is so stressful. We keep trying to remember to focus on the Provider, not the problem.
Good to read your posts again ~ God bless.
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